Ancient Egyptian Assembly
Excellent. Now we can sit back and enjoy the funeral.
(Women appear, wailing a throwing themselves to the ground).
On second thoughts, let’s fast forward to the Underworld.
1. Spirit in the Sky
Now, let me introduce you to Horus, Son of Osiris. He will help, guide and protect us on our journey.
Ooops! (Tripping) Mind the snakes! Reminds me …Why can you never play a trick on a snake?
Tell me, why can you never play a trick on a snake?
Because you can’t pull its leg!
(Cast all laugh).
(Thoth steps forward)
Ha ha. I can do better than that!
Wouldn’t take much!
Excuse me. I am the god of all learning. So answer me this. Why would you never starve in the desert?
So tell us. Why would you never starve in the desert?
Because of the sand wich is there. Get it? Sand wich (stressing each word individually).
Mummy (tutting loudly).
Can’t you do better than that? Listening to your jokes I could just die of boredom! (pauses) Oh, but I already have! …Anyway, here’s a joke for the audience. Knock! Knock!
Toot an come in – (pronounced Tut an khamun). That’s me, in case you were wondering. Oh, it’s good to get out of that coffin, and stretch my legs. Not (turning to Anubis) that I’m complaining about my wrapping – job well done.