Battle of Hastings Assembly - in celebration of its 950th anniversary.
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Please note: The script is available in word document format on purchase of Performing Rights Certificate. The scripts remain free of performance rights for staging in the class room but as an assembly in front of a non-paying audience you need to buy a single Performance Rights Certificate to cover you for the play you are purchasing.
What have the most famous cartoon strip in history, a masterpiece of needlework, a distinctly odd bishop, some dodgy family connections, warring Anglo Saxons and Normans, and an arrow in the eye have in common? Correct! They're all part of that famous drama - you know the one, 1066 and all that?!
Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down
Duration around 10 - 15 minutes (not including music)
Embroiderer 2: (Catching finger on needle) Ouch! Since when is such painful work a labour of love?
Embroiderer 3: (Grunting) Labour of torture, more like!
Embroiderer 4: Yeah, I reckon those knights got off light!
Bishop of Bayeux: (Gasping) What? Doing battle on the battlefield? Surely not?
Embroiderer 5: Well, at least their work was exciting!
Embroiderer 6: Living life on the edge!
Embroiderer 1: You could hardly call ours that!
Embroiderer 2: Hours and hours of needle in, needle out!
Embroiderer 3: (Sarcastically) Wow! Life can’t, surely, get much more exciting than this!
Bishop of Bayeux: O dear, dear, dear, dear! I can see something drastic needs to happen round here! How are we going to get you excited about your work?
Edward: Easy! Let’s just introduce them to some of the characters they are working on! Let them see what we were actually like in the flesh!
Bishop of Bayeux: Ah! A splendid idea! And you are?
Edward: King Edward the III of England or Edward the Confessor! I’m
(Edward walks along work of six Embroiderers, peering down, trying to see himself; he stops abruptly at Embroiderer 4)
Edward: Ah yes! Here I am! Dying!
Bishop of Bayeux: (Sarcastically) Oh wonderful! Well, that really livens things up for us! Thank you so much!
Edward: Oh dear! I didn’t mean to put a dampener on things!
(Edward goes back to the line of Embroiderers and this time stops at Embroiderer 1)
Edward: Ah now, that’s better! That’s when I’m still king! Alive and kicking!
(Edward falls about laughing at his own joke)
(Whole cast groans)
Bishop of Bayeux: (Aside) Oh dear! I think I preferred him dead!
(Goes over to Embroiderer 1)
And who is that other character in this scene?
Harold: That would be me! Harold, son of Harold Godwin!
Bishop of Bayeux: And what a splendid name, if I might say so! Godwin, eh?