British Food Assembly
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In celebration of British Food Fortnight Sept 18 - October 3, this short assembly (10-12 speaking parts) can also be used for guided reading within the classroom (cast size 6 -directions given for this). It covers meal times, traditional dishes, cups of tea, festival foods ... plus some of the very strange names we have given our food, as illustrated by the extract below!
Dinner lady: Not another chef! Have you never heard the expression "Too many cooks spoil the broth"?
Welsh chef: Indeed. But I wouldn't want anyone to think that we Welsh don't eat as best as the rest!
Dinner lady: So tell me. What traditional dishes do you serve?
Welsh chef: Well, let's start with our wonderful Laver bread or boiled seaweed!
English chef: Sounds like it would go nicely with my fish and chips!
Welsh chef: Then there is our famous Welsh rarebit - or melted cheese on toast.
Scottish chef: A strange choice of name, to be sure!
Welsh chef: (Indignantly) Well, speaking of odd names. What about your national dish? Haggis and neeps?
Scottish chef: Huh! What about your Bara Brith?
Dinner lady: What is that?
Welsh chef: Why, Welsh fruit cake, of course!
English chef: (Chuckling) And as for all those dishes with .... Leaks?! No wonder your plumbers are always busy!
Welsh chef: (Sarcastically) Ho! Ho! And what about your ridiculous English names? Now let's see. Spotted Dick, Bangers and Mash, Bubble and Squeak,
Scottish chef: (Interrupting) And what about those two puddings ... that aren't?!
Welsh chef: You mean, Yorkshire pudding and black pudding?!
Scottish chef: And how do you explain the most popular dish in England at the moment?
Welsh chef: Curry!
(Both Scottish and Welsh chefs fall about laughing, whilst English chef stands, glowering)
Dinner lady: Oh dear! What was I saying about "Too many cooks'? Now, gentlemen, if you don't mind. I have a job to do. Feeding these children!
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