Comic Relief Assembly
Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down
Duration: 10 - 20 minutes.
This assembly in aid of Comic Relief or Red Nose Day is full of bad jokes and performance(s)! For once our narrator actually comes out on top - in rather unexpected circumstances!
Full of fun - this should have everyone laughing in the aisles!
I am charging £1.99 , 100% of which will go to Comic Relief. If you wish to use this play, I will waive performance rights and you can use it as long as you like providing all the proceeds go to Comic Relief. Obviously the hope is that on the day audience contributions will significantly boost this amount, going to Comic Relief.
(Enter Board of School Governors: Gov. 1 – 5; these ‘dour’ individuals take their seats next to more flamboyant ‘celeb’ judges)
C.I.C.: (To Narrator, scratching head in confusion) Er, care to explain?
Narrator: Certainly! Delightful as our three ‘celeb’ judges are, I’m guessing it doesn’t take a great deal to make them laugh?
(Narrator prods C.I.C. who walks over and does ‘something silly’ in front of each judge – each judge laughing hysterically in turn)
Narrator: (Shaking head and sighing) See what I mean?
(Aside to audience) And if they find this guy funny ….. need I say more?
C.I.C.: What was that?
Narrator: (Hurriedly) Oh just saying what a hoot you are! What a gift you have! What a
C.I.C.: (Irritably) OK, I think I got it! No need to go overboard. (Glancing at judges) It’s not like I’m one of these celebs, in constant need of having my ego pampered!
(All three judges jump to their feet, outraged; Narrator rushes over to appease them)
Narrator: Now! Now! How about we all settle down? I have twenty comedians here who just can’t wait to entertain us!
C.I.C.: But you never did explain why we have the School Board of Governors here today.
Narrator: You’re right! Well, as I was saying about our three ‘celeb’ judges … I hope you don’t mind me referring to you as such?
(All three judges shake their heads)
Narrator: Well, take a look at our Board of Governors.
(Everyone looks at five governors, all scowling heavily)
Narrator: Do they look like they’re the kind of people who will readily fall about laughing … over anything, however funny?
(C.I.C. walks over to each governor in turn and tries to make them laugh – without success)
Narrator: You see? Whoever gets a single snigger from any of them will I suggest be the unquestioned winner!
(Turning to Comedians 1 – 20)
So, are you ready?
(Each Comedian stands up in turn, to deliver joke and then sits down again)
Comedian 1: What do you call an egg-carrying rabbit that jumps off a bridge? (Pauses) An Easter Bungee!
(All three judges laugh; all five school governors just scowl)
Comedian 2: What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? (Pauses) Hot cross bunny!
(Judge 1 and 2 gasp disapproval, but Judge 3 falls about laughing; all five school governors just scowl)
Comedian 3: Why is a sofa like a roast chicken? (Pauses) Both are full of stuffing!
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