Nativity Play Crisis
A Teacher brought to his knees - by Three Wise Men? Maybe someone needs to look at those words ‘Christian children all must be mild, obedient, good as He’(from Once in Royal David’s City) a little more carefully.
With 24 hours to go, this Nativity has all the signs of being a total disaster. Can Mr Brown pull it back from the brink? Can he prevent the head teacher from finding out the horrible truth?
Even with a public health warning, this Nativity play should definitely not be read by any but the most hardened teachers – preferably well in advance of their own nativities!
And don't forget your FREE Christmas Jokes!
Cast Size: 30 – this number easily adjustable up or down
Duration: Around 25 Minutes Reading Time – not including carols
Shepherd 1: Hey! You come and do this Nativity play without us if we’re so rubbish!
Shepherd 2: Yeah! Let’s see you, Mr Brown, doing a Nativity play
Whole cast: (Together) Solo!
(Everybody returns to their original seats, clearing the stage)
Mr Brown: (Spluttering) But! But!
Joseph: Ah! No buts, Mr Brown. Or weren’t you listening to the words?
Mr Brown: It was just a joke! I didn’t mean it! Please get back to the play.
(Enter Head Teacher)
Head Teacher: Ah! Mr Brown!
(Looks around at ‘cleared stage’, looking puzzled)
Head Teacher: Oh! Have we not got started yet? Can I remind you? You only have til tomorrow! And (laughing) we can’t keep these children here overnight!
Mr Brown: Overnight! Ah yes, that was it. We were just thinking about the words of Silent Night. A bit of quiet reflection, Head Teacher!
Head Teacher: Well, Mr Brown! I am impressed! Considering all the excitement I know the children must be feeling, you are doing a wonderful job keeping them so calm.
(Joseph starts to stand up in protest and is pushed back down firmly by Mr Brown)
Mr Brown: Oh they really are the best behaved children in the whole school!
Head Teacher: Ahh! A real credit to your teaching skills, Mr Brown! And there was me worrying – this being your first Nativity and all!
Mr Brown: Oh no need to worry, Head Teacher.
Mary: Not when he’s going to be doing his first Nativity – solo!
Head Teacher: Solo? What does she mean, Mr Brown?
Mr Brown: Oh just a little joke, Ma’am. Mary and I – always engaging in banter! Watch that halo, Mary – we don’t want it slipping!
Mary: No, I said ‘solo’, sir! Not halo!
(Mr Brown pushes Mary back into her seat)
Mr Brown: Of course, Mary!
(To Mary, Aside) Can we talk about this in a minute?
Mr Brown: So, Head Teacher. If you don’t mind? The children and I need a little quiet time – to think about those words.
Head Teacher: Very well! But don’t think about them too long. We don’t want you running out of time!
(Exit Head Teacher)
(Three Wise Men stand up and form a menacing circle around Mr Brown)
Wise Man 1: Time for some serious negotiation!
Wise Man 2: Don’t think we’re letting you off the hook!
Wise Man 3: You’d better bring something good to the table!
Mr Brown: Hey! You’re meant to be three wise men from the East – not from the Mafia!
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