6 speakers - Interviewer, Long John Silver, Blackbeard, Black Bart, Captain Henry Morgan, and Mary Read. Climb aboard with this motley crew - if you dare!
This 'interview' draws out the main historical facts available on these characters. Additional background information is supplied at the end of the play - the sum total of this information available in quiz form shortly (from Quiz section)
Long John Silver
Blackbeard (Edward Teach)
Captain Henry Morgan
Black Bart (Captain Bartholomew ‘Black Bart’ Roberts)
Interviewer: A very good morning to you, Gentlemen (To Mary) Begging your pardon, ma’am!
Mary Read: That’s quite all right! I’m more than happy to be treated the same as these gents!
Long John Silver: A clear case of ‘Who’s a pretty boy then?’
Blackbeard: (Growling) Well, she’s certainly better looking than you!
Cpt. Morgan: (‘Groggily’) Yes, even I can see that
Black Bart: Which sure is saying something given the state you’re in!
Cpt. Morgan: Yo ho ho! And a bottle of rum!
Interviewer: Oh dear! Who left out that bottle of rum?
Long John Silver: And he’s already had a whole barrel that he brought along with him!
Interviewer: Something tells me we’re not going to get a lot of sense out of Captain Morgan this morning!
Mary Read: Oh! Don’t you worry! You wouldn’t believe what us pirates are capable of – even after a large number of rums!
Interviewer: Hmm. So I’ve heard! But perhaps we’d better start with this Welshman
Black Bart: Who? Me?
Interviewer: No. I’ll come to you in a minute. I was going to have a few words with Captain Morgan here – whilst he’s still capable of speech!
Blackbeard: (Hissing) You’d better get in there quick, then! And I’d make it a simple question, if I were you!
Interviewer: OK. So, why are pirates, pirates?
Cpt. Morgan: Because they Arrrrrrrrrrr!
Interviewer: (Sighing) Hmm. Very good! Let’s try again. Everyone knows that the Captain Morgan line of rum is named after you, but I wonder if they know about your lucky escape aboard that warship ‘Oxford’?
Cpt. Morgan: How could I forget? That stray spark so nearly took me out with my 350 crewmen!
Interviewer: Talk about going out with a bang! Very careless of someone to ‘strike a light’ near that gunpowder!
Blackbeard: What a waste! Much better drunk as part of a rum cocktail!
Interviewer: What, gunpowder?
Blackbeard: Ah yes! The perfect rum cocktail ingredient! You wouldn’t catch me being that careless with my gunpowder!
Cpt. Morgan: Huh! Coming from Mr. Health and Safety, over here! What about those burning fuses you used to light in your hair?
Mary Read: Ugh! All that filthy black smoke! What filthy habits some of those men pirates had!
Black Bart: Well, it certainly scared the living daylights out of his enemies! He sure was a scary sight at battle time!
Cpt. Morgan: Arrrrrr! Shiver me timbers!
Long John Silver: Hey! Quit stealing my lines! I’ll have none left!
Blackbeard: (Sarcastically) Oh I’m sure that nice Robert Louis Stephenson will find you some more!
Black Bart: Yeah! Who invited this ‘fake’ along? A mere fictional pirate!
Long John Silver: (Spluttering, furiously) Well, of all the cheek …
Cpt. Morgan: Huh! Cat got your tongue?
Blackbeard: No, but it might have got his parrot!
Mary Read: Boys! Boys! Why so cruel?
Blackbeard: (Sarcastically) Uh, because we’re pirates!
Mary Read: That’s no excuse for bad manners! Allow me to apologize, Long John Silver, on their behalf.
Long John Silver: Nah! Don’t worry about them! They’re just jealous!
Black Bart: (Exploding) Jealous? Of you? Oh, pull the other one!
Cpt. Morgan: (Laughing) But he’s only got the one! Leg, that is!
Blackbeard: (Sneering) Along with that peg leg! I’m surprised Mr. Stevenson didn’t give you a hook instead of an arm, too!
Cpt. Morgan: Nah! Would have cost him too much!
Blackbeard: You mean (pausing for effect) an arm and a leg?