Our School's Got Talent Leavers' Assembly
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With a panel of judges drawn from teaching staff and school students, is there any possibility of justice - when it comes to judging the contestants?!
Cast Size: 15 – 30 (For larger cast – up to 90 – see Production Notes)
Duration: Around 20-30 minutes (to up to an hour – see Production Notes)
Panel of Judges Judge 1 from School Council (law court judge)
Judge 2 from School Council (law court judge)
Judge 3 –Teacher (alias ‘female celebrity’)
Judge 4 –Teacher (alias Simon Cowell)
Presenters: Rant (Ant)
Contestants: Siley (Miley Cyrus)
Ms. Melody (Gloria Gaynor)
Malice (Alice Cooper)
Mr. Fay or Fayonce (Beyonce)
Dance Group – Teachers and Students
Music 1 - John Williams: Summon the Heroes
(Everyone files in and takes up places)
Head Teacher: Good morning and welcome to our Leavers Assembly for Year 6s. I have great pleasure in
(Sound of ‘ranting’ from off stage, as Rant and Heck ‘explode’ onto stage)
Rant: (Hysterically) Us? Today? Presenting a school version of Britain’s Got Talent?
Heck: Why, yes! Oh heck! Didn’t I mention this to you?
Rant: (Exploding) Didn’t I mention this to you? Well, of course you didn’t! Do you seriously think I would have agreed?
Heck: (Spluttering) But… but…
Rant: But… but… nothing! You’ve talked me into more than enough daft situations in the past – but not today!
Heck: (Turning to Head Teacher) Oh heck! This probably isn’t what you were hoping for?
Rant: And who’s this?
Head Teacher: I’m the head teacher of …… Primary School. (Advances towards Rant with outstretched hand) So pleased to meet you! Allow me to introduce you, Rant (pointing to Rant) and you, Heck (pointing to Heck) to our audience assembled here today! You’re just in time to kick off our 2012 Leavers Assembly!
Rant: (Incredulously) Kick off? Kick off, did you say? Well, if it’s Wayne Rooney … (pauses and mutters) …hmm, make that Lionel Messi - that you want to ‘kick off’ things today – you’re out of luck!
Heck: No! No! He doesn’t need an international football star! He asked for us!
Head Teacher: But if it’s too much trouble …
Heck: Oh heck! Of course it’s not! Rant and Heck at your service!
Head Teacher: (To Rant) Mr. Rant?
Rant: Well, seeing as you asked especially for us. (Sighing) How can I say no?
Head Teacher: Splendid! So! On with the show! (To audience) Let’s put our hands together now and welcome our judges – two Year Sixes and two teachers
Music 2 – O Fortuna
(Enter two Year 6s - Judges 1 and 2 - holding wigs in hands, walking on waving, amidst much cheering from the cast)
Head Teacher: And it is my great pleasure …
Rant: (Interrupting) Hold up! Hold up! That’s our job!
Heck: (Apologetically to Head Teacher) No offence, sir. But you can sit down now
(Heck shows Head Teacher to his seat)
Rant: And let us get on with it! (Looking at watch) When did you say they take ‘Break’ ?
Heck: Not just yet! We haven’t even got round to introducing the judges yet, let alone the contestants!
Rant: So let’s get on with it, man! (Turning to Judge 1) You are?
Judge 1: Aren’t you meant to introduce us?
Rant: (Aside) Ooh! I can see it’s true what they say about these kids in school today having attitude!
Judge 1: (Pompously) Allow me!
Heck: (Aside, sarcastically) Do we have a choice?