Battle of Hastings Assembly
What have the most famous cartoon strip in history, a masterpiece of needlework, a distinctly odd bishop, some dodgy family connections, warring Anglo Saxons and Normans, and an arrow in the eye have in common? Correct! They're all part of that famous drama - you know the one, 1066 and all that?!
Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down
Duration around 10 - 15 minutes (not including music)
Embroiderer 2: (Catching finger on needle) Ouch! Since when is such painful work a labour of love?
Embroiderer 3: (Grunting) Labour of torture, more like!
Embroiderer 4: Yeah, I reckon those knights got off light!
Bishop of Bayeux: (Gasping) What? Doing battle on the battlefield? Surely not?
Embroiderer 5: Well, at least their work was exciting!
Embroiderer 6: Living life on the edge!
Embroiderer 1: You could hardly call ours that!
Embroiderer 2: Hours and hours of needle in, needle out!
Embroiderer 3: (Sarcastically) Wow! Life can’t, surely, get much more exciting than this!
Bishop of Bayeux: O dear, dear, dear, dear! I can see something drastic needs to happen round here! How are we going to get you excited about your work?
Edward: Easy! Let’s just introduce them to some of the characters they are working on! Let them see what we were actually like in the flesh!
Bishop of Bayeux: Ah! A splendid idea! And you are?
Edward: King Edward the III of England or Edward the Confessor! I’m
(Edward walks along work of six Embroiderers, peering down, trying to see himself; he stops abruptly at Embroiderer 4)
Edward: Ah yes! Here I am! Dying!
Bishop of Bayeux: (Sarcastically) Oh wonderful! Well, that really livens things up for us! Thank you so much!
Edward: Oh dear! I didn’t mean to put a dampener on things!
(Edward goes back to the line of Embroiderers and this time stops at Embroiderer 1)
Edward: Ah now, that’s better! That’s when I’m still king! Alive and kicking!
(Edward falls about laughing at his own joke)
(Whole cast groans)
Bishop of Bayeux: (Aside) Oh dear! I think I preferred him dead!
(Goes over to Embroiderer 1)
And who is that other character in this scene?
Harold: That would be me! Harold, son of Harold Godwin!
Bishop of Bayeux: And what a splendid name, if I might say so! Godwin, eh?