Eurovision Song Contest Assembly - updated to 2018
Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?!
It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light-hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners-up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons!
Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down.
Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen)
Music 7 Waterloo – Abba
(Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative' sings song)
Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career!
Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post
(Loud whinny from Kara the horse)
Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows!
Music 8 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows
(Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song)
(Judge charging back onto stage)
Narrator: (Testily) You again!
Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners!
Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never!
(Turning to cast) Are we agreed?
Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you!
Music 9 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man
(Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song)
Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!
Music 10 Rock Bottom Lyndsey de Paul and Mike Moran
(Whole cast and ‘Lyndsey’ singing sulkily)
Narrator: (Cutting music short) Oh come on! So the UK came second the following year in 1977. So what? Where’s your spirit of sportsmanship? It’s not just about the winning, you know?
Israel: Though winning two years running, 1978 and 1979 was nice – and then again in 1998! Israel!
Narrator: OK! So winning is fun
Presenter: And you do get to host the Eurovision Song Contest the following year
Narrator: But …
Presenter: Having difficulty making your mind up?
Music 11 Bucks Fizz – Making Your Mind Up
(Whole cast plus ‘Bucks Fizz representative sings song)
UK: Winners again! Has that helped make your mind up? Isn’t it all about winning?
Narrator: (Firmly) No. There’s no question in my mind that it’s actually all about taking part – not just winning.
(To Judge) Don’t you agree?
Judge: Oh! Absolutely!
Presenter: Though there are times when you might wonder whether certain countries actually want to win?
Narrator: What do you mean?
Presenter: Well, with song titles like ‘Why Do I Always Get it Wrong?’
Narrator: Good grief! Whoever came up with that one?
UK: The United Kingdom!
Presenter: And ‘One Step Out of Time’.
Narrator: Who was that?
UK: UK again!
Presenter: And ‘Don’t Play that Song Again’.
Narrator: Don’t tell me…
UK: Yes, us again!
Presenter: And ‘Cry Baby’.
UK: (Head in hands) That was the year we scored ‘Nil pointes!’
Narrator: (In disbelief) Who writes these lyrics?
UK: Well, we did get it a bit wrong with ‘That Sounds Good to Me’! Sadly it didn’t to anyone else and we came last again!
Narrator: Oh dear! But let’s not forget all those other winners!