Snow White Pantomime
This Snow White pantomime can be:
10 minutes, 35-45 minutes or an hour long! It can also be for a cast of 30 or 60! All explained in copious Production Notes - no stone left unturned in this one! Arguably the most versatile pantomime out!
Originally written for cast of 30, as a simple production, it now comes as an all dancing all singing panto - with an additional 22 elves, Rudolf, Santa and a few reindeer thrown in!
This is a Snow White as you've never seen it - twists and surprises all along the way, perhaps some of the worst jokes you'll hear this year - and what about The Mirror ... checking out Facebook!?!
This script is the longest I have written to date - this fact reflected in the price - 15.99 plus performance rights - Totalling 30.99
Don't forget Free set of Christmas Jokes available off Specials section of website
Snow White: Scene 3 Back at the Palace
(Mirror awaiting arrival of Wicked Queen, scanning pages of Facebook on laptop computer)
Mirror: (Excitedly) Wahoo! Go Snow White! Now, there’s a girl who’s come out of her shell!
(Enter Wicked Queen – loud hisses from cast – Snow White encouraging audience to join in)
Wicked Queen: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.
Who is the fairest of them all?
Music 7: James Blunt You’re Beautiful (Mirror singing out the chorus)
Wicked Queen: (Impatiently) Yes, yes. I know! But am I THE most beautiful?
Mirror: You, my queen, are fairest of all …
(Wicked Queen leaps around triumphantly)
Mirror: But ..
(Wicked Queen stops abruptly, and screams)
Wicked Queen: What do you mean, ‘but’?
Mirror: (Indignantly) Well, if you’d just let me finish ..
Wicked Queen: (Screaming) Why the ‘but’? Why the ‘but’?
Mirror: (Apologetically) Snow White is still just that tincy wincy bit fairer than you!
Wicked Queen: But how can that be? She’s dead!
Mirror: Not according to Facebook, she’s not! You want to take a look at these pictures! Talk about party creature! This one sure knows how to enjoy herself – over fifty men guests at her place last time I looked!
Wicked Queen: Good grief! That doesn’t sound like the Snow White I know! Perhaps she’s becoming more like her step mother after all! Fifty fellas, eh? Where did you say this party was?
Mirror: Deep in the forest, somewhere called Dwarf Den. Sounds a bit of a dive – do you really want to go there?
Wicked Queen: What? And miss a party? You know me better than that! (Aside) Course, for the sake of our story, my reasons for going are strictly business - to finish off Snow White. But hey! Why not have a little fun on the way?
Snow White: Scene 4 At Dwarf Den alias Santa’s Grotto
Music 8: So here it is, Merry Christmas – Slade (in the background, as scene set up – everyone joining in with the chorus)
(Dwarfs plus Elves busily wrapping up presents)
Elf 1: My! This is fun!
Elf 2: If you say so! Seems like a lot of hard work to me!
Elf 3: Ah! Quit complaining!
Elf 4: Yeah! Didn’t someone around here say it was Christmas?
Elf 5: (Hiccuping) Oops! Pardon me!
Elf 6: What did I say about saving the brandy til later?
Elf 7: (Falling around) Ooh! Too late! It’s gone straight to my head!
Elf 8: (Yawning) It’s making me kind of sleepy!
Elf 9: (Rubbing tummy) I knew I shouldn’t have had any – on an empty stomach!
Elf 10: (Wheezing) It doesn’t seem to be soothing my tickly throat!
Elf 11: And it sure isn’t helping me read these labels!
Elf 12: (Tripping and dropping present) Whoops! Oh dear! There goes another!
Elf 13: (Sulkily) The rate we’re going, we’ll never get finished!
Elf 14: And there was me, hoping to be on time for once!
Elf 15: Doesn’t look as if I’m gonna have time to change into something decent!
Elf 16: (Sniffing) Or me find something for my cold!
Elf 17: Maybe we should quit now? Save ourselves all the bother?
Elf 18: What? And sit round for the rest of the holiday doing nothing? No fear!
Elf 19: (Burping) Oops! Pardon me! It’s the brandy!
Elf 20: Hey! There are ladies present! So sorry!
Snow White: (Laughing) That’s all right! It’s great that we’re all getting in the Christmas spirit!
Friendly: (Coughing) Hmm. In all senses of the word. (Taking Brandy bottle off Elf 19) I think I’d better take that! I think some of us have more than enough spirit in their bellies!
Elf 21: Hey! You’re stealing my lines! But don’t worry – I’ve got plenty more!
Elf 22: Can’t wait! But what is that?
(Sound of sleigh bells)
Music 9: Jingle Bells (Whole cast singing)
( Enter Santa Claus, scowling)
Snow White: Oh! How exciting! Santa Claus himself! (Pauses) But what’s wrong? Isn’t he supposed to be jolly? Did I miss the Ho! Ho! Ho!?
Santa Claus: Who is this imposter? Who let her into my grotto?
Friendly: Oh, don’t mind her!
Snow White: I’m just helping out with the housework! Friendly, here, has shown me how much fun it can be!
(Sound of sleigh bells and snorting)
Snow White: (Alarmed) Oh! What is that?
Santa Claus: It’s rein deer!
Snow White: Not snow?
Santa Claus: Oh dear! Is she always this slow?
Snow White: Slow? Didn’t I say ‘Snow’? Like my name, you know?
Santa Claus: (Sighing) Someone please fast forward this bit!
(Sound of sleigh bells)
Jolly: Aha! Could this be …
(Enter Rudolf and reindeer)
Jolly: Time for another song?
Music 10: Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer (sung by whole cast)
Santa Claus: Ah Rudolf! You took your time!
Rudolf: Sorry, gov! Really must get down that chimnasium more often!
Elf 21: Ah! Time for some jokes! Can I start?
Rudolf: Be my guest!
Elf 11: (Scratching his head) Er, I kind of thought you were ours?
Snow White: (Impatiently) Who cares! Come on, let’s have some jokes! That Santa Claus sure looks like he needs cheering up!
Elf 11: Well, there’s a lot of them – these jokes. So here – let’s share them out.
(Elf 11 shares scraps of paper out amongst elves)
Elf 1: OK. I’ll start. What do elves learn at school?
Snow White: So, What do elves learn at school?
Elf 1: The elfabet!
Elf 2: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet
Elf 21: (Interrupting) Shouldn’t that be ‘elfabet’?!
Elf 2: (Moodily) Oh give me a break! I’m just reading what’s on the paper!
So, as I was saying (glaring at Elf 21) before I was so rudely interrupted, What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
Snow White: Tell us! What is the difference?
Elf 2: The Christmas alphabet has Noel!
Elf 3: Who hogs the road at Christmas, making it impossible to pass? (Pauses) The three wide men!
Elf 4: What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas? (Pauses) He got twelve months!
Elf 5: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? (Pauses) Because he had low elf esteem!
Great selection of music!
1. Our House – Crosby Stills Nash and Young (as opening song) or a song from Disney’s production – such as Hey-Ho or Whistle While You Work could be used, as the cast walk in.
2. You’re Beautiful – James Blunt
3. Deck the Halls (Carol)
Plus another 9 great songs!